


Most significant

by Shadadukal



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Community: sfaflashfic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-24
Updated: 2011-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-15 01:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/155691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadadukal/pseuds/Shadadukal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nikola felt as if this particular memento he had been keeping for over a century had betrayed him. In hindsight, he should have realized this was not a good time to have an openhearted conversation with Helen. How much could their friendship withstand?</p><p>Set after 3x10 "The Hollow Men" so there's speculation to what may happen in the 2nd part of the third season, as well as specific spoilers for "Sleepers".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Most significant

**Author's Note:**

> Written for challenge #4: mementos at sfaflashfic at Live Journal.

Standing at the top of the Old City Sanctuary tower and leaning against the parapet, Nikola considered the object in his hand. Part of him wanted to destroy it, break it like the broken promises it represented, just let it fall to the ground below so it would shatter. But that would serve little purpose, only littering the ground with shards of glass and bits of metal.

He heard the door to the roof creak behind him and quickly stowed the item in the plain wooden box where he kept it. He half-turned around. Helen was standing in the doorway, her hand on the doorknob.

"Hello, Helen."

"Nikola… Do you wish to remain alone?"

"It's fine if you want to join me. Unless you want to be alone yourself, in which case I can go."

"No, don't leave on my account."

She walked to the rampart and came to stand beside him. Noticing the box, she asked him what it was and he slid it toward her. She opened it.

"Is this the syringe we injected the Source Blood with?"

He nodded.

"Why do you still have it?"

"I meant what I said in Rome."

"Nikola…"

"Not that, although I did mean it too. I'm talking about what I said regarding what the Blood represented for me. I found out who I really was, who I was meant to be. And now I've lost it, lost myself. Being a vampire meant more to me than anything or anyone else in my entire life. All my work, all my accomplishments with radio waves and electricity, they're nothing compared to the sense of … rightness… that came from my vampirism."

His voice dropped to a whisper.

"I will never get over it, Helen. Never. I can't."

He didn't want her to see him like this so he grabbed the syringe from her and stuffed it back into the box. Taking it in hand, he quickly turned to leave and had started walking away when Helen grabbed his wrist to stop him. She slipped in front of him, cupped her hand behind his neck, applying pressure, clearly intending for him to meet her half-way in a kiss, but he pulled his head back.

"No, Helen. I'm not in the mood. You won't fix this with a pity fuck."

He saw the fury flash in Helen's eyes.

"Are you done feeling sorry for yourself? I've just lost my father, after losing my daughter last year. And you're here crying because you don't have claws anymore!?!"

"I lost all my family a long time ago. And I've never had a child to lose because the only woman I'd consider having a child with… You've only really ever had eyes for Johnny. Being a vampire was the only thing I had left. Now I have nothing. You still have your Sanctuary, all your work, and your little protégés downstairs." He took a deep breath and continued: "I'm sorry for your loss. Gregory was a great man. I'm even sorry that Johnny took off again and isn't here to comfort you. I can't do it anymore, just taking the scraps you leave for me."

She punched him. Other women might have slapped him, but Helen Magnus went for a punch. And she punched hard. The left side of his face erupted in pain, while Helen held her right fist with her other hand, visibly still furious.

"Bastard!"

No good had ever come from wallowing in self-pity and this was a perfect illustration of that fact.

"I'm sorry, Helen."

Nikola hoped she could see he was sincere. It really hurt to speak. Helen had a mean right hook.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

"Badly," he replied, moving his lips as little as possible. He could tell she was still angry, even satisfied that she had hurt him, yet at the same time also dismayed and apologetic. "You should probably go get some ice for your hand."

"I will in a moment." She sounded dismissive of her own physical pain. "Nikola, you must know I am always there for you."

He nodded. He could never lie to her.

"I'm sorry we couldn't save your father."

"But you and John saved the rest of us. And for that, I am grateful. I always expect you to be there when I need you. I rarely thank you properly."

"You don't need to… Just don't punch me again."

She stepped a bit closer to him.

"Sometimes things need to be spoken aloud. If only to clear the air. So thank you, Nikola."

She raised her other hand to his face so she could turn it and examine his cheek.

"You need to have an X-ray. I'm afraid I may have broken your cheekbone."


End file.
